To be or not to be?

That is the question. Are you in a game to win or have fun?

This question arose during a conversation where the woman I was having lunch with was talking about a game she had played said, "...it's a lot of fun!  I wasn't playing it to win.  I was just there to have fun..."  Oddly, just a few days before this same line of thinking was the topic of conversation but from the opposite side - playing a game to win.

So it got me to thinking about my perspetive as well as that of my friends and family.  What kind of player are they:  In it to win it?  Or out to have a good time?  I have no doubt regarding my own perspective; I am out to have a good time - to be with other people, to share an experience or learn something new (I like word games) or get some good excercise in for an hour or so (... and with ANY luck, have the opportunity to watch someone fall down in spectacular fashion.  Yes, I said "fall down" but we won't venture into that right now...).

However, I can't help but think that people like me drive the in-it-to-win-it group to a place  just short of crazy.   My lack of competitiveness and my absentminded approach to a strategy has to be annoying to them.  Mind you, it's not that I lack intensity.  I've played many a game where I've gotten wound up and began verbalizing while becoming quite animated with enthusiasm. That's because I was enjoying myself!  I can get all wrapped up in a game and still like the experience even if I lose. But for a person who always plays to win, they would, I imagine, rather not play with the likes of me.  I spend a lot of time enjoying myself - or at least trying to.

I used to think I was that way because I am not the most coordinated person on a field, track,  or course.  But some of those games are "my own" game and it's my own skill that will make or break the game for me and me alone, and I still am not concerned about winning all the time. It's the comraderie that I enjoy more than the score. 

Then there are the other games that require hand-eye coordination.  That's always a joy because a game that is brand new to me is played like it would have been played in my kindergarten year.  It takes me a few tries to get the hang of hand-eye games.  I like to think it's got something to do with my left-handedness.  In being so I have developed great use and skill of my right hand...to the point of occasional confusion.  I can't explain it any other way except to say it's like being in conversion overdrive.  (Does anyone out there understand this?) Ah, but I am off on a tangent (how unusual). With the hand-eye games I just about can't be in-it-to-win-it until I really, really learn the game(s) several times over.  I must admit, though, I did have a good laugh with one of my daughters and the Xbox Kinect!!!  And that is what will drive me to play again.  The fun!

Anyway, back to the question of those who are near and dear, I think my family is half and half.  Two of us want to win and the other two just want to have a good time.  With the recent addition of a son-in-law the scales are tipped to three for the win and two for the fun. Regarding friends I would say 40/60 win/fun.

 One of my friends wondered how a game could be fun if you didn't want to win.  It's a good question whose answer made no sense to her, for isn't winning the point of a game? 
This doesn't mean I don't want or like to win, nor does it mean that those who want to win don't have fun playing the game.  No, not at all!!  It's just an approach.

So, which are you? To be or not to be?  Win or fun?  It's a thought I will tuck away and bring out to mull over again some day down the road.  It certainly makes me think of the traits in all the people around me that make my world go 'round. Maybe, perhaps, even allows me a bit more understanding.