I somehow managed to forget all about this blog! I started it five (5!) years ago because I enjoy writing and thought it'd be fun to share with the world some of the shenanigans that make up my life.
So much has happened since I stopped writing. Some BIG things! Both daughters are now married and there are two grandchildren - a boy named Clyde, soon to be 4 years old, and a girl, Lena, now 15 months old. They are the loves of my life, of course. Grand-parenting is waaaaaaayyyyy better than parenting! My time with them leaves me happy and, sometimes, exhausted! I see my own longevity since they've come around. I am not sure of the reason for this. I certainly don't "feel" like a grandmother. And maybe it's that "mindset vs. reality" battle going on....and reality is winning. Indeed, I have a finite set of time left on earth and being with those two makes me want to live forever.
And that's where the struggle sets in. I don't want to live forever. Never have. Never will. In fact, I have always said that I want to go before I hit somewhere around 80; maybe earlier. It seems those are the years where shit just hits the fan for humans, and life just get hard. I could go on and on as to why I see it this way, but I won't.
Hopefully, in the next several years, my watercolor painting skills will have achieved a higher level of acceptance in my own eyes and I can give a few of my paintings to my family so they can look at them after I'm gone and maybe see a bit of me in there somewhere.
Yes. I'm still trying. Here are some from a few years back. I'm better than this sometimes, well, most times, now. Sigh! It's a process and I'm still enjoying it. I'd show recent stuff but I don't have any on this computer. Looking at these I see all sorts of wrong! (My painting cohorts say there are no mistakes. They never said anything about things that are just wrong.) That I can say that means I've learned a thing or two. Some are still taped down to the board so just ignore any masking tape you see. Stay tuned for improved paintings!
Wait...this is more recent...
What also happened while I was "on break" was this, right next door to my house:
For four years we planted a two acre sunflower field. I would walk it every single day and it was heaven! These flowers are so interesting and they drew all sorts of wildlife. There were bees and birds, raccoons and deer; I saw lots of life in those fields. Two different years the field had a path mowed through it. Being in the middle was really a unique experience! There was so much going on and the color was phenomenal. I was somehow lucky, blessed, and deemed worthy of those sunflowers and I nodded to that gift every time I saw them. There is nothing happier or more welcoming than turning down your road to a vision of yellow and green swaying in the wind as you approached. Just thinking about it gives me the same feeling. It made me so happy!
Unfortunately, we sold that plot of land and I now have neighbors. While they are very nice people, whose presence I enjoy, they are not sunflowers, nor do they greet me as I drive to my house. A bit of a let down for sure, but I am grateful that I had all those sunflowers. the memories and photographs can still pull me in. I hope that lasts forever.
Catch you next time~
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